Saturday, June 18, 2011

Once. A long, long time ago...

when was that?  A long, long time ago.  Another life.  Another era.  Years have become decades, days fade off over the horizon.  Do you remember that?  That long, long time ago?  We were much different weren't we?  Or were we?  Are we the same now?  We can't be.  There is no way.  There is no way to be the same, to much has happened, to many moments have passed.  But, are we the same?  When it comes right down to it, when we get to the core, when we get to the root, when we get so far that I see you, and you see me, are we the same then?  When we are staring blankly at each other and realize that although years have passed, it seems like merely days, merely moments, merely minutes since our last conversation.  Are we the same then?  No.  Maybe.
Are we so equally different that we are the same?  Has life aged us in a similar fashion?
Are we mutually forgotten memories in each others minds?  Do we suddenly flash at one and other, are we glimpses to each other of times gone by.  Memories of how we use to think about things, fantasies we use to have.  Aren't those silly now?  Are they?  Was what was once good, still good?  Can some things still make sense?  Can any of this ever make sense?
Does any of this make sense, can you honestly say that it does with an answer that doesn't include a God?  I'm not interested in that version.  I am not looking for option "D"  all of the above.  In fact, I'm not looking for an answer, because there is no answer.  Is that ok with you?  Can it be?  There is no answer.  That's fine, right?  It's casual.  It's cool.  Just coast.  Just float. Just let it happen.
Just let what happen?  Things are not meant to just happen.  Things do just happen.  You just happened, now what are you going to do with that?  Blind faith, hard work, the casual float?  Not my problem.  Well it is, because you affect me.  In some way, in some fashion what you do affects/effects me.  I'm not even sure if it's the "a" or "e" version, could be both.  Could be both.  M.J. was right, "you are not alone, I am here with you."  I am.
I'm not, but I am.  I'm not there with you, physically.  Perhaps I never will be.  But that doesn't mean I'm not there.

Once upon a time we sat on a porch and talked all day.  Once upon a time we saw a random movie on my last night in town.  Once upon a time we took a road trip.  Once upon a time we were all riding in the van together.  Once upon a time we had pancakes with applesauce for breakfast.  Once upon a time I watched television at your house while my parents were at work.  Once upon a time you had me look at my first dirty magazine.  Once upon a time we kissed.  Once upon a time we screamed at each other and ran chasing one another street to street.  Once we played a game, and I won, and you were mad, but not really.  Once we played guitars in the garage until it was time to go home.  Once we snuck beer, and drank it, and thought we were cool.  Once upon a time we met.  Once upon a time we spent an awful lot of time together.  We were close.  Now we are memories.  Or living ideas.
Sometimes that can be enough to remember forever.