Thursday, May 26, 2011

transitional.

It's once again been too long since I last posted.  This is something I hope to remedy in the future, but I usually find some other way to occupy my time other than writing this blog.  It's also been a busy month.
Transitions are a brewing, and these transitions are almost over.  They have almost become the new norm.  I knew the process would take a little while, but have been so absorbed by that path, that I hadn't seen the finish line, until now.
My lady and I have moved across the country.  That is not news to any of my friends, through the wonders of the internet you are all perfectly aware that I now live in Portland OR.  My Nashville friends have seen that movement, and while I was there just last week, it was as if I had just been on an extended vacation.  However the truth is I was not, I live in Portland.  My Los Angeles friends have seen me move twice, my Austin friends have seen me move 3 times, unless you count the 2 and a half months I lived there before Nashville, then they have seen me move 4 times.  Still, none of us are strangers, although we are, the world wide web keeps us in contact and makes us feel as if we are still united.  In some ways we are, in the day to day we're not.  It's a strange life.
Before I left Nashville I had perfect strangers ask me why I would move.  I had one perfect stranger tell me that I had moved too much in my life.  He advised me to stop and settle in somewhere, find a community to become a part of, partake in that life.  He honestly had a slew of advice, especially for a man I had never met before.  I tried to take his advice into account, although initially I was annoyed.  I mean, this was the first conversation I had ever had with him, who was he to tell me how to live my life, or advise me towards the proper path?  Still, I couldn't completely ignore his logic.  Although it wasn't truly for me at that moment, he did have a point.  There is a peacefulness in being part of a bigger picture, there is a void to fill when you are constantly changing your surroundings and starting over.  Although I have grown from all of my experiences, I have maintained a certain state of being.  Always looking ahead, not focusing on the present.  Always thinking that if I went somewhere else, things could be different, life could be new and more rewarding.  In some instances that's true, in some instances it's ignorant.  I suppose it's the difference between searching and running.  Which one are you doing?  For myself, I think it was a combination, until now.  Every destination I moved to was for a goal, a purpose, a bigger picture.  It was a means to achieve an objective.  I wanted success.  I did what I thought was right to find that.  This time was different, this time I moved for myself and not for a goal.  This time I think I have found the right path for me, this time I created a plain that I could expound on.
So, here I am.  My new life.  It is different than I thought it would be, but it always is, and at least this time I expected that.  In my new manner I am practical.  In my new manner I am in the present.  In my new manner I know that the things that I want can come to me in due time, but if I want them the way that I do it is best to be true to myself and not worry about what's popular or what others say I should do.  Lot's of folks throw that novelty advice around, "follow your heart," blah, blah, blah....but I don't know that many of us truly understand what that means.  Or at least, I didn't exactly know what that meant.  I think these days I have a grasp.
So, lead me on my little angel, my little buddha, my little monkey, lead me on.