no really, something is burning inside. I don't mean in a funny way or that I have an aching desire, I mean my esophagus is burning. The first swig of coffee I took this morning charred my insides and now everything is painful. I think I am suppose to drink milk or something like that, but all there is, is almond milk, and I don't think that has the same effect.
All of this is beside the big picture point here. That is unless I am showing the first signs of a great illness, in which case, it is entirely the point. The point is, I'm thinking, that I moved across the country again! The move to Nashville was suppose to be it, that was suppose to be my final move. I'm not sure why in my mind, that was the final move, but I remember that it was suppose to be. It wasn't. I live in Portland now. I brought a girl with me too! Seriously. Growing up is odd.
I still think of myself as a child. I act the same as I always have. It's just when I was young I acted too responsible and now, maybe not responsible enough. It's like the whole idea of responsibility lapsed over my head somewhere mid/late twenties and now I'm behind the ball instead of in front of it. I can't really worry too much about that one, I have far too many practical things on my mind for the near future. Working would be a good one. I do like, not working. The folks that don't have to work too much and get to travel the most, oh, the lucky ones.
There are so many things to see, so many things to do. I fear that I'll whined up working for someone else's dream for the rest of my life and not see the things that are out there. And speaking of all the beautiful things out there to see, sometimes I don't see the things inside me, like my goals, my drive, my vision or my burning esophagus. Sometimes I forget their there until they reach out from within and squeeze. It's those moments when I know, I'm either not paying attention to the moment, or I'm being and asshole for no real reason.
hey. best we can right. best we can.